There are only two sides; God’s or the other, and race can’t draw the line. Our love bomb with Black American culture has kept us suppressing change toward our freedom.
I too am Black and Indian and have always felt that tug of anxiety and “seasonal depression” at the same time of year as you described. August the anxiety sets in, by September I’m a balancing act of productivity and sadness, and being in Toronto, our “Thanksgiving” is in October, by which time the lack of motivation and grief begins to set in. There’s so much in this post… I’m tired.
Thank you for this comment! Talk about an affirmation of my discovery. I was connecting the dots, getting so emotionally moved by the things revealed. I can’t help but want to explore this more.
That’s a hugely vulnerable reflection Natasha. And truly an affirmation of Jacguie’s writing. Sometimes this is exactly what it takes to start the healing. Right? Someone who’s named what has never been named before: Generational trauma with light be shown ahead on how to upset that horrid cycle. Bless you and thank you for adding to Jacquie’s words with your own.
There’s poetry in your writing but even more brilliant is the certainty of your exploration of ideas and experiences. Honest yet measured and examined.
You live it and think about it and then think about it and live it.
I just had this conversation with my sister and fiancé, who isn’t from the south, the other day, and he had no idea what a toboggan is! I’ll always call it that.
I am so intrigued by this post accentuating Black Southern womanhood. My tag line is Cali girl with southern roots. Even though I was part of the Great Migration at two years old, I embrace and claim Southern. Of us three siblings I am the only one who lives and breathes Southern culture. Itsvwhat I write about and thevGreat Migration. Being a first- born daughter, I heard my mother's admonition. "Southern girls don't do this and Southern girls don't that." My younger sister delighted inteelling Mom. " I'm not southern, I was born down thevstreet at Highland Hospital."
So, I was l8v8bg hearing about the term tobaggan. I never knew. I know it as a beanie, but I called it simply, a knit hat. Lol. I am still loving to learn about the southern isms of Black women. I'm from Arkansas. What state were you born?
I was born and raised in North Carolina. Born in the deep country one main road, and raised in a college city blue collar family. Cali had been my dream since I was 17 but my family never allowed me to come until I just left. That was this year in March!
Thank you so much for reading and engaging with my words.
OMG! THIS transcends any of your past writing, and I’ve loved your past writing. THIS is spoken poetry written in the personal narrative. Honestly, I don’t know if you intended for it to be so, but this essay has a lyrical rhythm to it such that I can easily imagine it being recited aloud, as a spoken poem, let’s say as the preamble poem at Madam President’s upcoming inauguration in January 2025. In fact, your first four lines, above your top picture, is an actual poem! I don’t save many Substack essays—I’m saving this one. “Ten toes down,” THIS is Soul Wisdom. It is obvious these words flowed through you from your Old Soul.
I agree, this piece transcends all of my previous work. Wow, spoken poetry, it felt like prolific writing. My creative process was different; the words were blended in a new way, and it just flowed with ease. I appreciate you reading and commenting, Kert; this really affirmed my own feelings about whose words were speaking through me. I felt like a vessel more than sharing my experience. The story felt like it belonged to me from a different lifetime.
Maybe the Soul Wisdom coming from this Old Soul is actually storytimes from previous lifetimes. Wow!
You’re on to something right there. I can only cheerlead and affirm the direction you’re headed—you just might end up in a place you never thought you’d be.
Thank you for reading, Gary, but I am curious. What lines hit you in fucked up ways? I'd love insight into what triggered you as I explore these discoveries more.
"Our love bomb with Black American culture has kept us suppressing change toward our freedom."
"Oppression, suppression, repression, and unity in our community through suffering, with sprinkled victories that resulted in sacrificed consequences."
I don''t want to be Mr. Obvious, but we'd all be better off as a country and straight up human beings if people took the time to read about the struggles/thoughts of other cultures and individuals.
Those two sentences almost had me open a new draft. And although what you’ve said is obvious, we both know it’s going to take a hell of a lot more than that. But hey, at least you and I are the start.
This is a smoke piece🤌I had to smoke on this and I swear my guides took me through a whole spiritual activation. Whatever you channeled just changed me. Talk about a gift💖
Noah’s ark symbology has been haunting me for years. This post just completed a new piece to my puzzle, and added a few more! This is deep!! I need to read it again and get your book. I felt something click in my head when you mentioned seasonal depression; and I should really read this again before commenting, but I felt like I needed to write something before diving back in🤣This piece is incredible
I too am Black and Indian and have always felt that tug of anxiety and “seasonal depression” at the same time of year as you described. August the anxiety sets in, by September I’m a balancing act of productivity and sadness, and being in Toronto, our “Thanksgiving” is in October, by which time the lack of motivation and grief begins to set in. There’s so much in this post… I’m tired.
Thank you for the space to relate and be seen.
Thank you for this comment! Talk about an affirmation of my discovery. I was connecting the dots, getting so emotionally moved by the things revealed. I can’t help but want to explore this more.
Me too! I am open to exploring this more as well 🤎🌱
That’s a hugely vulnerable reflection Natasha. And truly an affirmation of Jacguie’s writing. Sometimes this is exactly what it takes to start the healing. Right? Someone who’s named what has never been named before: Generational trauma with light be shown ahead on how to upset that horrid cycle. Bless you and thank you for adding to Jacquie’s words with your own.
Thank you Kert!
White guy here, from the Deep South, I get made fun of for calling them toboggans instead of beanies.
I love the people that stay true to the name.
I mean, THIS:
~~~~~~~~
i’ve come to accept that my hardest battles
are the ones I suffer with in silence.
the tug-a-war between my thoughts
governs my actions.
conditioned to be my own judge, scared to fail,
i grip my gavel so tightly my hands blister:
a lost soul to my ego while searching every which way
to experience the zest
for life.
I am working on the second edition to my book, I believe I may have to add this to open Chapter 3: Ten Toes Down.
If you haven’t written poetry, I think that might be another genre that would allow your soul to open even further. Have you? Written poetry that is?
I tried it once a piece I titled longing for home on here. Maybe I’ll play around with it. I would love to do short form writing.
There’s poetry in your writing but even more brilliant is the certainty of your exploration of ideas and experiences. Honest yet measured and examined.
You live it and think about it and then think about it and live it.
You’ve got game there!
I just had this conversation with my sister and fiancé, who isn’t from the south, the other day, and he had no idea what a toboggan is! I’ll always call it that.
hahaha, I feel the same way I will never stop using the word. That’s just how I was raised.
I am so intrigued by this post accentuating Black Southern womanhood. My tag line is Cali girl with southern roots. Even though I was part of the Great Migration at two years old, I embrace and claim Southern. Of us three siblings I am the only one who lives and breathes Southern culture. Itsvwhat I write about and thevGreat Migration. Being a first- born daughter, I heard my mother's admonition. "Southern girls don't do this and Southern girls don't that." My younger sister delighted inteelling Mom. " I'm not southern, I was born down thevstreet at Highland Hospital."
So, I was l8v8bg hearing about the term tobaggan. I never knew. I know it as a beanie, but I called it simply, a knit hat. Lol. I am still loving to learn about the southern isms of Black women. I'm from Arkansas. What state were you born?
I was born and raised in North Carolina. Born in the deep country one main road, and raised in a college city blue collar family. Cali had been my dream since I was 17 but my family never allowed me to come until I just left. That was this year in March!
Thank you so much for reading and engaging with my words.
OMG! THIS transcends any of your past writing, and I’ve loved your past writing. THIS is spoken poetry written in the personal narrative. Honestly, I don’t know if you intended for it to be so, but this essay has a lyrical rhythm to it such that I can easily imagine it being recited aloud, as a spoken poem, let’s say as the preamble poem at Madam President’s upcoming inauguration in January 2025. In fact, your first four lines, above your top picture, is an actual poem! I don’t save many Substack essays—I’m saving this one. “Ten toes down,” THIS is Soul Wisdom. It is obvious these words flowed through you from your Old Soul.
I agree, this piece transcends all of my previous work. Wow, spoken poetry, it felt like prolific writing. My creative process was different; the words were blended in a new way, and it just flowed with ease. I appreciate you reading and commenting, Kert; this really affirmed my own feelings about whose words were speaking through me. I felt like a vessel more than sharing my experience. The story felt like it belonged to me from a different lifetime.
Maybe the Soul Wisdom coming from this Old Soul is actually storytimes from previous lifetimes. Wow!
You’re on to something right there. I can only cheerlead and affirm the direction you’re headed—you just might end up in a place you never thought you’d be.
I agree Kert. I feel that I am right here! It’s HAPPENING before our eyes! Thank you!
I enjoyed this overall, but a couple lines hit me in a fucked up way.
Great stuff.
Thank you for reading, Gary, but I am curious. What lines hit you in fucked up ways? I'd love insight into what triggered you as I explore these discoveries more.
"Our love bomb with Black American culture has kept us suppressing change toward our freedom."
"Oppression, suppression, repression, and unity in our community through suffering, with sprinkled victories that resulted in sacrificed consequences."
I don''t want to be Mr. Obvious, but we'd all be better off as a country and straight up human beings if people took the time to read about the struggles/thoughts of other cultures and individuals.
Those two sentences almost had me open a new draft. And although what you’ve said is obvious, we both know it’s going to take a hell of a lot more than that. But hey, at least you and I are the start.
Thank you!
This is a smoke piece🤌I had to smoke on this and I swear my guides took me through a whole spiritual activation. Whatever you channeled just changed me. Talk about a gift💖
Noah’s ark symbology has been haunting me for years. This post just completed a new piece to my puzzle, and added a few more! This is deep!! I need to read it again and get your book. I felt something click in my head when you mentioned seasonal depression; and I should really read this again before commenting, but I felt like I needed to write something before diving back in🤣This piece is incredible