YES! I did too, I had to stand up out my seat when I read that line back. It’s so true — we do only feel safe in community when it’s with people that make us feel safe. Community building 101: be the safe space you want to see and the people will come.
Thank you for your vulnerability ❤️this is a reminder that we are more alike than different & our collective experiences and their impact on us (whether good, bad or indifferent) have a profound impact on how we operate on a friendship/community level. This stack is personal confirmation of a declaration I made for myself, “situational friendships, friendships spawned out of convenience are no longer sustainable for me.” I feel seen sis, thank you.
As a REAL friend from online to offline, girl it means everything to read your comment! Especially on this subject! I feel seen sis, what you talking about? And thank you for sharing your declaration because yessss she is very tea! Very much on point!
This post is so relatable. I deal with the same thing of not maintaining relationships because of imposter syndrome or feeling embarrassed for not showing up for friends in the past. It takes a lot of self awareness to even admit that. The thing you said that stuck out to me the most was “Our words are magic that sets us free, so choice yours wisely. Our connection through community is the healing that sets us free, so choice your friends wisely.” This makes me grateful for all the betrayal I went through because without that these words wouldn’t resonate the same way they do with me now. I’m glad to call you my substack friend 🙏🏽🤎
Whew, sounds like you have some words to bleed on the page on this topic and I'd love to read more about it! I'm very happy to call you my Substack friend, and pray it continues to grow offline!
This was so well written, Jacquie! Thank you for sharing your words with us. Also, it feels so full circle to read your perspective in your post “unsubscribing to substack friends” to where it is now.
I love how you discussed how we connect/bond with people over our shared traumatic experiences and how disappointing those friendships can be when they end, since we haven’t tended to our wounds. So true & I see myself living in that reality now. Thankfully community really will heal us if we choose wisely❤️🩹 Beautiful words from an even more beautiful soul. Thank you again
Wow, Alexis! Thank you so much for your comment, this means so much! When I wrote this piece I was under the impression it was for me, to right my wrongs in a way for trauma dumping on the internet. I never wanted such a negative and limiting perspective to be what made people come engage with my work, however, at the time that was my truth. I love writing and community because I get to change my mind and share why. The experiences I had, we all share, and the ones I am having now, we all share too! I am grateful for you, engaging with my work feels like community, especially when you were able to witness my growth. That means everything in the world to me! I pray you find your peace and strength to tend to your wounds, that might have been the best act of self-care I could have done for myself.
Isn't growing funny? We leave and return to things all the time, with a deeper level of understanding that made the past trial seem like a challenge instead of the genuine hurt we felt at that moment. What a thing!
Aww! Thank you Badiana, I have a few more growth pieces on the way that I think you might have the same reaction about! Stay tuned to the many new onion layers! I wish that sounded more pretty, haha.
Onions are important when building flavor so it’s kind of like self-discovery is the key component to building community. Mmmm…I might be onto something!
I appreciate that you had the intention of checking on me. Maybe that's why last night I had this feeling that I had to write to let our community know how I am feeling. We are connected through me sharing my journey and I'm grateful for that!
Build your community around the people that keep you feeling free. A bar! Felt that one deep!
YES! I did too, I had to stand up out my seat when I read that line back. It’s so true — we do only feel safe in community when it’s with people that make us feel safe. Community building 101: be the safe space you want to see and the people will come.
Thank you for your vulnerability ❤️this is a reminder that we are more alike than different & our collective experiences and their impact on us (whether good, bad or indifferent) have a profound impact on how we operate on a friendship/community level. This stack is personal confirmation of a declaration I made for myself, “situational friendships, friendships spawned out of convenience are no longer sustainable for me.” I feel seen sis, thank you.
As a REAL friend from online to offline, girl it means everything to read your comment! Especially on this subject! I feel seen sis, what you talking about? And thank you for sharing your declaration because yessss she is very tea! Very much on point!
Me RN 🥹you know how I feel about this reunion sis, whew! Divine timing baby!
I’m about to book a flight back to NC just for you!
I’ll be there to pick you up!!
A true friend, and I will do the same for you sis!
This post is so relatable. I deal with the same thing of not maintaining relationships because of imposter syndrome or feeling embarrassed for not showing up for friends in the past. It takes a lot of self awareness to even admit that. The thing you said that stuck out to me the most was “Our words are magic that sets us free, so choice yours wisely. Our connection through community is the healing that sets us free, so choice your friends wisely.” This makes me grateful for all the betrayal I went through because without that these words wouldn’t resonate the same way they do with me now. I’m glad to call you my substack friend 🙏🏽🤎
Whew, sounds like you have some words to bleed on the page on this topic and I'd love to read more about it! I'm very happy to call you my Substack friend, and pray it continues to grow offline!
Me too 🫂🤎
This was so well written, Jacquie! Thank you for sharing your words with us. Also, it feels so full circle to read your perspective in your post “unsubscribing to substack friends” to where it is now.
I love how you discussed how we connect/bond with people over our shared traumatic experiences and how disappointing those friendships can be when they end, since we haven’t tended to our wounds. So true & I see myself living in that reality now. Thankfully community really will heal us if we choose wisely❤️🩹 Beautiful words from an even more beautiful soul. Thank you again
Wow, Alexis! Thank you so much for your comment, this means so much! When I wrote this piece I was under the impression it was for me, to right my wrongs in a way for trauma dumping on the internet. I never wanted such a negative and limiting perspective to be what made people come engage with my work, however, at the time that was my truth. I love writing and community because I get to change my mind and share why. The experiences I had, we all share, and the ones I am having now, we all share too! I am grateful for you, engaging with my work feels like community, especially when you were able to witness my growth. That means everything in the world to me! I pray you find your peace and strength to tend to your wounds, that might have been the best act of self-care I could have done for myself.
Isn't growing funny? We leave and return to things all the time, with a deeper level of understanding that made the past trial seem like a challenge instead of the genuine hurt we felt at that moment. What a thing!
Now this is a word here! Ain't it funny! You hit the nail on the head with this comment!
Claps👏🏾 for this post! I appreciate witnessing this growth.
Aww! Thank you Badiana, I have a few more growth pieces on the way that I think you might have the same reaction about! Stay tuned to the many new onion layers! I wish that sounded more pretty, haha.
That made me laugh 😂! An onion 🧅 is a great way to describe it though, onions ARE delicious 😋 though!
Onions are important when building flavor so it’s kind of like self-discovery is the key component to building community. Mmmm…I might be onto something!
Growth!!! In real time. I love to see it.
This means everything! Thank you Karen!
Word🙂↕️
I opened Substack reminding myself that I wanted to check in on you and not to get distracted (ADHD) and then this is the first thing I see!
Thank you for sharing your journey.
I appreciate that you had the intention of checking on me. Maybe that's why last night I had this feeling that I had to write to let our community know how I am feeling. We are connected through me sharing my journey and I'm grateful for that!
Transparent. Beautiful. Honest. Resonating. 🫂
Mmmm, thank you! Hugging you right back!
So proud of you for following up and writing this. Here's to community!
This is so, SO real 💕 thank you for sharing yourself and your musings with us!