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Deziré's avatar

My favorite part “Cutting the strings from the control handle allowed me to stand on my own two feet as my own person, in my authentic individuality.” You said it much better than I ever could! 🙌🏾 The entire piece was relatable! down to the MAC makeup artist lore!!!

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Jacquie Verbal's avatar

I love that part too. After I wrote I turned to my wife and said “I’m back” cause it’s been a minute since the words have flowed like this for me. And I understand exactly why. I had no idea how much our lives are aligned girl we twins FR FR. I love that for us!

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RaytheDivine's avatar

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 living in your truth despite the SEVERE judgement of family members is like reaching level 9000 in the game of Black American life. The generation before us and before them are something else. Incapable of opening their minds to new/different ways of life for the sake of “not going to hell.” 🙄 Good thing hell doesn’t exist. Thank you for sharing your growth w/ us. Continue to show up authentically despite whomever is in your proximity because they are simply just human too. When I realized I had no reason to fear my mother’s judgement, I immediately jumped timelines for the better. Watch how your life continues to dramatically improve/change the more you allow any shame/guilt to fall away as a result of your past.

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Jacquie Verbal's avatar

I’m at a point where I don’t care to even play the game now understanding it’s all a path leading to the same conclusion. I want no parts. Being no contact with my mother was healing for me, now I get to establish barriers to keep her in my life. After losing my dad the idea of no contact just doesn’t feel good but I damn sure will protect my peace before ANYTHING! Thanks for reading and commenting as always love!

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Erika's avatar

So interesting to see how colonial white supremacy shows up the same but differently for each of us. Or how it contaminates all of our lives and relationships on every level... especially in colorism, aspiring for a certain financial status or homophobia. The way our men have learned to use us like human handbags. The way it destroys our families. I am sure you have been healing for some time. What a fucking awful... grotesque process. But I am happy for you. We all will be doing this for a long time, there is no end to the healing that is needed.

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Jacquie Verbal's avatar

It’s a tricky world we live in and learning to navigate it can be challenging but hey once you learn what works for you things start flowing.

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Maya Jeanne's avatar

this was so incredibly beautifully written, truly. you write straight from your gut, we need so much more of that! true honesty that sometimes even hurts to write at all. <3

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Chelsea's avatar

You're absolutely amazing.

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