Damn Jacquie, I love that you are working through your pain to grow and be better, but it hurts my heart to hear some of the things that occurred in your life. Sending you a big hug from Newark, New Jersey. Keep growing and please keep writing
Thank you for reading, and commenting, and the big hug! I appreciate you always Stanley! I’ve suppressed so much throughout my life as I am starting to open up about my experiences I sometimes cry when I realize how fucked up it is. I mean excuse my language, but there, is no other way to describe it without using the F-bomb.
As I write I cry, and as I share I receive love and support for you and others. I get to heal that part of me and rewrite my story, which is why I continue to write so thank you for that encouragement, Stanley!
I look forward to reading these oh my gosh. The watermelon seed was something we were told growing up too😭 all of this is so powerful though. The letter to your mom is raw and I’m glad you didn’t shy away from saying what you needed to get out. Mother-daughter relationships can be very disheartening to navigate at times, I feel especially in the Black community. I’m glad that you are doing the work that you need to for yourself though. It can be hard to remove ourselves from toxic family members, but at times very necessary.
Oh wow, you grew up with the watermelon seed story too? Okay at this point Mariah I do believe you and I had parallel childhoods because we are two for two at this point. Wow! Thank you for your kind words about my letter to my mom because I struggled to hit the post button. Actually, I had to schedule the post because I was in my head about if it was too raw and vulnerable and if the post itself was too heavy now because of it. I am so grateful to have the support that I have received because of my openness. So Mariah, please know this means a lot to me!
Thank you for such a wonderful window into your artistry. I love the vulnerability you shared about the relationship you have with your mother. Keep writing! Very inspiring!
Thank you so much for reading Nat! I love that I’m reading your message to keep writing, as I grabbed my cup of coffee to do just that this morning. I was nervous about sharing this for fear that I would look like a bad mom because my daughter asked if I was mad and the vulnerability about my mom…but I’m so happy that the feedback has been welcoming and relatable for some. It truly inspires me to keep writing just as you said. Thank you!
I appreciate your vulnerability on the path that is motherhood soooo much. I can definitely relate, though the relationship with my mother hasn't cultivated into more of a "sisterly" relationship, it is strained & I too, often wonder if she, and my grandmother had the appropriate mental health care that they needed, how different my life would've been... Although in a weird way, I'm almost ?grateful? for the trauma?? It makes me hyper aware with my daughter now.
Please don't stop writing these!!! I am on my way to buy you a coffee so you can write the next one!
ah, Gabriela! We need to meet for coffee soon because girl! I was so nervous about sharing this piece, so much so that I had to schedule it to be posted because I couldn't bring myself to hit the button myself. I wondered if the stories were too vulnerable, or if it was just me that experienced this type of relationship with their mother. But I'm quickly learning I'm not alone with this and my questions are valid, and most importantly it's nothing to be ashamed of. I've been gaslighted so much in the past into thinking the problems I see are created within my mind and not the truth, but the older I get and the more I separate myself from her the truth shines more light on my experiences. I don't plan to stop writing these anytime soon...I'm so excited and grateful that I've found my form of creative expression. It feels good! Thank you so much for reading, supporting, and being a friend!
Lol I am chuckling at the cherry seed story because my older sister once told me that since I swallowed bubble gum, every time I breath a bubble in my stomach would get bigger and bigger until it popped and I died. I didn't chew gum for a VERY long time after that lol the things we believe as children. I relate to your relationship with your mom too. I sometimes joke that we're more like friends and sisters than mother and daughter and I often take more of a mothering role. I, too, want a different dynamic with my daughter and am striving to continue to do things differently and learn from when I don't get it right!
Oh dang…I have some bubblegum swallowing stories but this one might take the trophy. Why do people enjoy tainting the innocent minds of children the way they do? Weirdos lol. I hate that you share a similar relationship but damn it feels good not to be alone. It’s hard talking about the relationship with my mom because no one ever understands, or if they’ve met her they never believe it until they see her in action being her true self. Ashleigh, what if redefining the mother-daughter relationship we experienced through our mothering is healing for us? What if we had daughters first just to be able to mother ourselves the way we desired while mothering our little girls? Since your post this week, I have been more intentional about loving on my baby girl and it’s been healing parts of me that are broken. Thank you for reading my long-ass piece and comment now lol. And thank you for seeing me on this platform…
I’ve been reading this piece on and off annoyed that I hadnt had the time I wanted to sit down and fully experience this. I was able to do so this morning.
Jacquie, I feel a lot with this so much so that I couldn’t even see through my tears when I got to the backstory of ‘nothingness.’ My heart breaks at that conversation you had with your mini. I hate that you are able to connect over something that eats at our souls but am grateful that our words, likeness, and spirits have connected bc at the very very least - I find solace in the fact that I’m not alone in the things that hurt me the most, and I’m glad you do too. This is a beautiful fucking piece and is one of those that I’ll carry with me throughout the day…just processing.
Damn Jacquie, I love that you are working through your pain to grow and be better, but it hurts my heart to hear some of the things that occurred in your life. Sending you a big hug from Newark, New Jersey. Keep growing and please keep writing
Thank you for reading, and commenting, and the big hug! I appreciate you always Stanley! I’ve suppressed so much throughout my life as I am starting to open up about my experiences I sometimes cry when I realize how fucked up it is. I mean excuse my language, but there, is no other way to describe it without using the F-bomb.
As I write I cry, and as I share I receive love and support for you and others. I get to heal that part of me and rewrite my story, which is why I continue to write so thank you for that encouragement, Stanley!
I look forward to reading these oh my gosh. The watermelon seed was something we were told growing up too😭 all of this is so powerful though. The letter to your mom is raw and I’m glad you didn’t shy away from saying what you needed to get out. Mother-daughter relationships can be very disheartening to navigate at times, I feel especially in the Black community. I’m glad that you are doing the work that you need to for yourself though. It can be hard to remove ourselves from toxic family members, but at times very necessary.
Oh wow, you grew up with the watermelon seed story too? Okay at this point Mariah I do believe you and I had parallel childhoods because we are two for two at this point. Wow! Thank you for your kind words about my letter to my mom because I struggled to hit the post button. Actually, I had to schedule the post because I was in my head about if it was too raw and vulnerable and if the post itself was too heavy now because of it. I am so grateful to have the support that I have received because of my openness. So Mariah, please know this means a lot to me!
Thank you for such a wonderful window into your artistry. I love the vulnerability you shared about the relationship you have with your mother. Keep writing! Very inspiring!
Thank you so much for reading Nat! I love that I’m reading your message to keep writing, as I grabbed my cup of coffee to do just that this morning. I was nervous about sharing this for fear that I would look like a bad mom because my daughter asked if I was mad and the vulnerability about my mom…but I’m so happy that the feedback has been welcoming and relatable for some. It truly inspires me to keep writing just as you said. Thank you!
Ugh reading these are such a breath of fresh air.
I appreciate your vulnerability on the path that is motherhood soooo much. I can definitely relate, though the relationship with my mother hasn't cultivated into more of a "sisterly" relationship, it is strained & I too, often wonder if she, and my grandmother had the appropriate mental health care that they needed, how different my life would've been... Although in a weird way, I'm almost ?grateful? for the trauma?? It makes me hyper aware with my daughter now.
Please don't stop writing these!!! I am on my way to buy you a coffee so you can write the next one!
ah, Gabriela! We need to meet for coffee soon because girl! I was so nervous about sharing this piece, so much so that I had to schedule it to be posted because I couldn't bring myself to hit the button myself. I wondered if the stories were too vulnerable, or if it was just me that experienced this type of relationship with their mother. But I'm quickly learning I'm not alone with this and my questions are valid, and most importantly it's nothing to be ashamed of. I've been gaslighted so much in the past into thinking the problems I see are created within my mind and not the truth, but the older I get and the more I separate myself from her the truth shines more light on my experiences. I don't plan to stop writing these anytime soon...I'm so excited and grateful that I've found my form of creative expression. It feels good! Thank you so much for reading, supporting, and being a friend!
Lol I am chuckling at the cherry seed story because my older sister once told me that since I swallowed bubble gum, every time I breath a bubble in my stomach would get bigger and bigger until it popped and I died. I didn't chew gum for a VERY long time after that lol the things we believe as children. I relate to your relationship with your mom too. I sometimes joke that we're more like friends and sisters than mother and daughter and I often take more of a mothering role. I, too, want a different dynamic with my daughter and am striving to continue to do things differently and learn from when I don't get it right!
Oh dang…I have some bubblegum swallowing stories but this one might take the trophy. Why do people enjoy tainting the innocent minds of children the way they do? Weirdos lol. I hate that you share a similar relationship but damn it feels good not to be alone. It’s hard talking about the relationship with my mom because no one ever understands, or if they’ve met her they never believe it until they see her in action being her true self. Ashleigh, what if redefining the mother-daughter relationship we experienced through our mothering is healing for us? What if we had daughters first just to be able to mother ourselves the way we desired while mothering our little girls? Since your post this week, I have been more intentional about loving on my baby girl and it’s been healing parts of me that are broken. Thank you for reading my long-ass piece and comment now lol. And thank you for seeing me on this platform…
I’ve been reading this piece on and off annoyed that I hadnt had the time I wanted to sit down and fully experience this. I was able to do so this morning.
Jacquie, I feel a lot with this so much so that I couldn’t even see through my tears when I got to the backstory of ‘nothingness.’ My heart breaks at that conversation you had with your mini. I hate that you are able to connect over something that eats at our souls but am grateful that our words, likeness, and spirits have connected bc at the very very least - I find solace in the fact that I’m not alone in the things that hurt me the most, and I’m glad you do too. This is a beautiful fucking piece and is one of those that I’ll carry with me throughout the day…just processing.
Know that you are loved💜